(22/11/2008)
Hey its Mas again
haiz today has just been the most irritating and F***ed up day =.=
Just got scolded by my mom and i really really cant take it any longer.
i mean, today we were all supposed to go tho this old folks home to help and stuff and ya i woke up early like 7am just to help my mom cook, bake and stuff but in the end...
i just got scolded for stuff i didn't do (again) and this time it really went too far, so ya i finally expressed myself and got myself busted, and she's all like "YA LA YA LA ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!! ITS ALL MINE RIGHT!!!! YOU NEVER TREATED ME AS YOUR MOM I'M JUST A SERVANT TO YOU DON'T EVER TALK TO ME!!!!!!"
and when i went to do my chores, she just grabbed it from me and tossed it on the floor. =.= haiz
I really wanted to scream at her already and i finally wanted to break my record of being a goody goody daughter.
In 16 years of my life i've been just too scared of her, well not anymore. If she wants to scold me then whatever i'm not scared....
Gimme whatever she's got!!!!!!!!!! She can disown me and stuff i don't even care anymore!! If she so happens to read this i want her to know that

"FYI!!!!! I CAN LIVE ON MY OWN!!! I'M INDEPENDANT!!! and if that doesn't work there is still SUICIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! All i wanted is for you to have the heart to listen to what i have to say, love me for who i am, understand that the whole family loves you. Unlike many kids you and i know, i'm different, i don't scream or talk back at you that's cos I love you and so does the whole family.try to think back and see, and let me remind you of the love your family has shown you
Who was the one who rushed form work just so that he could send you to the hospital when you broke ypur leg?? = your husband!
Who was the one who stayed with you in the hospital for four nights without the comfort of a nice bed or clothes to change?? = your daughter
Who was the one who helped you run up and down the hospital to but you food to eat?? = your son!
Who was the one who held your hand up and down the stairs when you were in pain?? = your 2nd daughter!
Who was the one who stayed by your side and helped you tons of times even though you both fight often?? = your sister!!
Who were the ones who gave you the support you needed whenever you needed it whether if its financially or morally?? = your brohters!
Who was the one who came to see you even when you don't like them?? = your ex-boss
Who was the one who came and helped around the house?? = Your god sister
These are the people who care for you so dearly and yet you say you don't feel loved... Why is that??
Are you trying to show that the efforts made by all these people are just waste??
That all their hard work their sweat and tears of love just gone down the drain.......
i'm sorry i've been a horrible daughter to you... just wanted you to know, that everyone you think hates you actually loves you with all their heart..

(i know this sounds super emo ... just trying to relieve my anger)
Thanks a lot for listening though..