My son

As the week touches Thursday it will be a week since i have seen my son.

The son that i never expected, but had loved him with all my soul.

Panchinko..

Just last year, his brother; Gringo passed away from a fox attack and now pachinko...

Pachinko.. i've prayed every night and cried countless of times to hope you return home safely but the fact that i DON'T know how you're doing and what happened to you is eating me up whole. I've prayed every night but it seems god likes to play with my subconscious and make me dream about your safety and how you come home looking all fresh and happy but when i wake up all i feel is pain and uncertainty. Is this a way god is telling me that you ARE alright and at home. My parents seem to take it rather lightly whilst i'm banging my head against the wall to take my mind off of you just for 1 small second but i can't...

They don't seem to see the pain and suffering i'm going through not knowing my son is safe or not. They just think that you are just a cat... but you're not... you're my son...

Where'd you go? Come home...Please.....

HE.

He is real.

He is kind.

He cares even if he says he doesn't.

He lives like every day cannot be wasted.

He can’t sleep until 6am where he’ll completely be knocked out.

He has a pure but confused heart.

He loves cats.

He loves cincau.

He takes an hour to shower and get dressed.

He won’t eat proper meals because he’d rather smoke and drink.

He doesn’t care about what others think about him.

He’s multilingual and hopes to be a translator.

He can barely taste because he can barely smell.

He is true.

He’ll never serve.

He hasn’t cried in 8 years.

He’s incredibly good in almost everything he does, but he’s humble.

He doesn’t like others to apologise

He hates to be alone

He wants someone to know him deep down

He wants someone to cry over, to chase, to love.

He is a music addict

He is sarcastic

He is honest

He is he

And he shattered my soul.

After almost 6 months... i still find myself in that whirling pit on pain...

Thank for shattering what i thought was friendship

Yoon Han Jae....Shirheo yo

Over. . .

It has been a year 4 months a week and 2 days now since Yang and i have been together, but , as off last Tuesday its all over.

The days of being together just for the sake of each others happiness are all gone. i have to admit it that painfully, it was all for the best. Although now all i wish is as if i had never asked for us to brake it off.

I still remember the days, where i used to sneak out of my house to see him. We would spend the day remembering our past together how we would joke around in Ninjutsu class, Thinking about what we would do when we're older, and even plan for how many kids we were gonna have. We never thought about anything else. Religion was never the problem between the both of us, as if we have totally forgotten what was there waiting for us.

My parents grew to love him very much, they were expecting a lot to come for the two of us. They'd always tease me and make fun of me but always comfortable with the both of us. I respect my parents and love them for giving me this kind of support. Unfortunately, it wasn't the same for his side of the family. His family never knew of us being together and we manage to make it stay that way for sometime. I was a student in his mother's Math class i wasn't her best student after everything although I've always strived to be the best so that it might be easier for her to accept me.

One day, his mother found out and was upset at the thought of losing her son to me, a Muslim. I was devastated of course, knowing i can never be with him, but he told me that his parents was going to put it all aside until my exam (SPM) was done so that it wouldn't give me any stress. Little did i know, he was actually lying to me. His parents wanted us to brake it off ever since they found out.

On the 15th of December at exactly 12:13am

I asked for the brake, and it was the most devastating moment of my life. We painfully accepted it for i think its best he obeys his mother and it wouldn't be fair for me to tear up a family.

But it still makes me wonder. . . .

Is religion made to hurt people???

Is religion made to separate people??

Is god a sadist???? Did he create all this religions so that people can fight and kill others???
Did he create religion so that people can hate and despise everyone just cos they are not in the same religion. . . .

Did he make religion so that people can't love?????


Will someone explain to me. . . .

i know there will be a lot of people who is gonna say that i blame god for my own reasons. . . . i dunno. i apologise if anybody feels so. . . .

Anyway

To Yang: i still love no matter what. And I'll be waiting if we ever get the chance again. . . .

KITTENS FOR ADOPTION!!!!!!

Name: Baby

Age: probably 10 days old

Sex: Female

Feeding: have to feed with milk every 3-6 hours. CANNOT skip a meal for she might die!

Bathe: Not necessary till she's 6 months plus. after she poops just use wet tissue to clean her.
Use wet tissue to wipe her after eating so that the milk doesn't stick to her body.
constantly use wet tissue to wipe her eyes.
Warmth: She needs the warmth, Either keep her close to your body or put a lamp above her.

P.s: You need to keep her warm!!!! I will give you the milk for free to keep feeding her. This one needs an adoption as soon as possible.






Name: Smitzenburg

Age: 2 months old

Sex: Male

Feeding: Just give cat food and he'll eat it by himself.

Bathe: Not neccesary until he's 6 months plus. he will lick himself clean.

Info: Was suffering from minge and fungal disease Minge is a disease that make the cat feels itchy and maybe fatal, he is now recovering from that disease with the jab from the vet and in a week or two he will be more than fine.



Anybody interested or for more info please contact Me Mas Marlena Mohamad @ 016-2091728.

All these kittens just need a loving family and a home... would you be that guardian angel for them?


Note: These Kittens are gonna be given away for TOTALLY FREE!!!

Here's to a great kitten.

Hey again guys,

Yes i apologize but this is another emo post.
Its about my kitten Chewy, he passed away early yesterday morning because of a motorcycle who knocked him off and left him to die a quiet death. .

Early that morning when i had my sahur, i already felt that something bad was gonna happen, i didn't know it had anything to do with the kittens. So early that morning as usual i played with them, fed them and snuggled chewy and hugged Belle then i went to get ready for school.

In class i still had that bad feeling but i didn't know what it was about, so i continued my day as usual. I talked so much about how adorable Chewy is and how i love to hug him when its cold outside and how he would purr in my ear or sleep on my arm, merajuk when he's upset, and sometimes kiss me on my lips just because i care for him.

While i'm typing this my heart is aching so much on how much i miss him so dearly, and later last night, i flipped through old photos and videos of him and felt like he didn't die at all.

My mother, once a cat hater, but now she couldn't stand the pain of losing Chewy. She told me she almost broke down when she heard the news when early that morning she was still playing with him. Same goes with my father, he was heartbroken when he had to bury Chewy with his own hands. He kept repeating that " i thought he was sleeping, he looked like he's sleeping! i can't believe that he's gone..."

And here i was, crying my eyes out thinking that he was just so young, but when my dad told his friend about Chewy, He only answered this. "This is the 7th month of the Chinese calender which usually Diana (my mother) would have an accident or broken bones, So what your cat did was actually sacrificing himself, to save Diana. . ."

My dad couldn't take it, although knowing its unlikely but the thought of it was enough to make my dad drown in his tears. My dad was touched although the fact that it maybe a lie.

Anyway this is all i can say about Chewy and i really hope that he didn't die. Cos' i still wanna feel his warmth when i hug him, annoy him till he squeaks, and love him and give him a proper home, I'm really sorry Chewy, for being such a bad owner. . . . . i guess i'm not cut out to be a pet owner after all.

BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!

Yo yo people!!!

welllllll~ some people might already know that i'm back from being sick. . . again. .

=.=

from Mondays big HOOHAA!

well i'm fine, nothing big to be worried about.

I don't have H1N1

just common fever, flu, sore throat etc

things that nobody should be worried of ^^

Anyway, lets not talk about all that no shall we,

My BIG BIG day is tmr i really cant wait.

i've been studying real hard for tomorrows exam too and i cant afford to slack off

OH

i almost forgot!

This year MPT5 from SMK Seafield REEKS!!!!!

so~

Me with help from comitee members in the entire form 5 of SMK Seafield joined together,

WE ARE GONNA MAKE THIS YEAR THE BEST PROM SMK SEAFIELD EVER HAD!!!!!

The theme is gonna be masqurade which is gonna be cool and mysterious!!

hahah

Just thinking about this is making me so excited, XDDDD

Well i really need all the help i can get to make this work

GOOD LUCK THEN!!

p.s

these are pics of my cats :) for fun

This is Chewy :D

This is Belle she's the princess that only grooms herself 24/7 ":)

BACK FROM CHICKENPOX!!!!!

YO people!!

long time no blog yo! so ya as everyone know i was down with chickenpox ^^ hahaha what great timing huh.......

And when i say that i mean WHAT WORST TIMING EVER!!!!!

I worked so hard and organised project burger and in the end it was cancle

...

i felt terrible.

I'm really really sorry to everyone who was looking forward to project burger

anyway, i'm back and fine as ever despite the holes on my face haha

and as soon as i got back,

i heard that,

a classmate threw a table at someone,

prefect election day was over,

there were a few cases of H1N1 in school,

the school found a couple of puppies,

&

info on prom is out

Talk about missing out on things ^^

haahah sorry there aren't any photos

YET!!

haha so sit tight and don't worry

i'll give you guys pics

TEEHEEEEEHEEE

buhbye now ^^